Tampon Flasks For Smuggling Booze

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Ladies… Do you absolutely positively need to drink somewhere that liquor isn’t allowed? Well, your booze-smuggling prayers have been answered, with these flasks made to look like tampons.

Just fill ’em up and get on the line with the dumbest security guard in the place. Then enjoy your Cosmos, Screwdrivers, or that drink that’s a mix of vodka and tomato juice… Please don’t make me say it.

[link, via Laughing Squid]

Red, White, And Booze: A Map of The Best Beer And Liquor Brands From Each US State

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Click To Enlarge

‘Merica loves its booze. But have you ever wondered what the most iconic liquor brand from each US State is? No? Well, look at Red, White, and Booze by Thrillist anyway — it’s pretty cool. Did they get your state right?

[link, via TAXI]

7 Flavored Vodkas That Don’t Exist But Should

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Flavored vodka started innocently enough with lemon and orange. But lemon and orange begat vanilla, blueberry, and peach. Then, the trend of flavored vodkas descended into madness, leaving a path of destruction littered with clear liquids that tasted like cupcakes and waffles.

Nevertheless, since flavored vodkas have provided so much joy in the form of blog material — Foodiggity would like to pay it forward with a few flavor suggestions of our own. And, based on current food trends, these suggestions might even act as an accurate looking glass into vodka’s already doomed future. Please drink this in responsibly.

 

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Sriracha Vodka

At the time of this writing, there is no other food item on the planet with a more rabid fan base than Sriracha. So, it only makes sense that the flavored vodka people find a way to make cock-vodka happen. Pair it with: Anything… Just like actual Sriracha.

 

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Corn Dog Vodka

Carnival grub on-the-go gets a much needed upgrade. Deep-fried corn batter with notes of salty tubed meat — now with the bonus sting of 40% alcohol. Pair it with: Ketchup and mustard chasers.

 

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Circus Peanut Vodka

We’re not sure what flavor Circus Peanuts are supposed to be, and we don’t care. Make the vodka neon orange with a clown on the bottle, and we’re in. Pair it with: Shame.

 

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Ecto Cooler Vodka

The long-lost neon green beverage makes another comeback. And, what better spokesman could there be than an incoherent cockeyed ghost? Pair it with: Caffeinated marshmallows.

 

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Nutella Premium Vodka

Nutella should be placed on everything. So, if there’s going to be any new vodkas, Nutella needs to be involved. It might not be the best choice for breakfast, but then again, neither is Nutella. Pair it with: Cereal, eggs, toast, or anything to help remind you that it’s still morning.

 

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Sushi Vodka

Raw fish and alcohol go great together. What’s this ‘saki’ you speak of? Well that had a good run, because sushi vodka is inevitable. You can even serve it warm, we don’t care. Pair it with: Shots of soy and miso.

 

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Bloody Mary Vodka

Sure, we could buy separate Bloody Mary mix, but that just sounds like a lot of work. Get vodka that’s already flavored like spicy tomato juice. If necessary, throw in a cheeseburger for an extreme version. Pair it with: Celery, a cheeseburger, sriracha vodka.

So there you have it, folks. What are some other flavored vodkas you’d like to see become a reality? And, would you drink any of the fictional flavored vodkas seen above?

Indelicate Doily Coasters

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Putting out coasters for your guests is a great passive-aggressive way of telling them that you don’t appreciate drink rings. But if you have friends who may not respond to subtlety, you might want to consider Indelicate Doily Coasters.

Each coaster comes complete with a hard lesson in etiquette, such as “Don’t Stain My Table, Douchebag” and “Be Considerate, Bitches.” The doilies come in a set of 8. However, your number of friends may decrease after using them, so order accordingly. Available here.

[via Fancy]