Move over, Mayomust. Step aside, Mayochup. And, spare us that ‘mixing condiments ourselves’ talk. Kranch is here to answer your franken-condiment prayers.
Heinz is back at it — this time mixing ketchup and ranch dressing. This adds to their lineup of mixed condiments — all sharing the philosophy that ketchup, mustard and mayonnaise just don’t cut it on their own anymore.
Let us know if you get your hands on any Kranch.
via Heinz
Ranch couldn’t possibly get any more spectacular. That is unless it comes in a jewel-encrusted glass bottle worth as much as a mid-priced sedan.
To help celebrate National Ranch Day, Hidden Valley is giving away a $35,000 bottle of the wonderful condiment. Simply follow Hidden Valley Ranch on Twitter, retweet the post below, and you’ll be entered to win.
Then you can continue to dip your baby carrots in ranch… LIKE A BOSS!!
✨FOLLOW & RETWEET FOR A CHANCE TO WIN! ✨ Nothing marks #NationalRanchDay like a real jewel-encrusted ranch bottle fit for people who royally love ranch.
Ends 5/19 at 11:59pm PT. NoPurNec18+ Official rules: https://t.co/7DRJkRZCQc pic.twitter.com/rli2YVTKVD
— Hidden Valley (@HVRanch) March 9, 2018
If you need ranch dressing on everything that you eat, in excess, at all times for the rest of your life — the Hidden Valley Mini Ranch Keg is here to help.
The keg holds 5 liters of yummy ranch and, in case that just isn’t enough, the kegs are stackable, so be sure to order a few. Pre-order yours here and be stocked up for the holidays.
Because all we’ve ever wanted was endless Ranch dressing. Today, our dreams come true, thanks to the Hidden Valley Ranch Fountain.
Whether you’re holding carrot sticks, broccoli, or are one of those people who puts Ranch on their pizza — get in line and run that stuff under the flowing stream of awesomeness.
Although the fountain has a price tag of $100, it also comes with a year’s supply of Hidden Valley Ranch… so, like, a few hours worth. Or, you can get bedazzled bottles of Hidden Valley Ranch and be all fancy-like.
The ongoing debate… Ketchup or Ranch? Recently, a few costumed ruffians sponsored by Hidden Valley finally duked it out for condiment supremacy. During the citywide brawl, ketchup can’t seem to keep up with the speed and reach of the Ranch squeeze bottle, and eventually concedes the match. Then sriracha comes along and delivers a fatal karate kick to the throats of both condiments. I made that last part up, but that would’ve been awesome, and far more accurate a result.
Just remember when using condiments, to always practice safe lunch.
[via Buzzfeed]
