ARRRE You Ready To Open Some Bottles? The Legless Pirate Corkscrew Can Help

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Do you need to get a bottle opened, me hearties? Well, the Legless Pirate Corkscrew is here to help.

Complete with a corkscrew for a leg and a waiter’s friend and foil cutter for arms — this pirate is ready to open any wine bottle. He even comes with a bottle-opening eye patch for sodas and beers, and a parrot on his arm.

So… Why are pirates such good bottle openers? Because they ARRRR!!!

Stainless steel and durable ABS plastic. Available at The Foodiggity Shop.

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The Cock Blocker Wine Stopper Is Here To Help

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Nothing should get between you and your drunken, short-term goals. The Cock Blocker Wine Stopper is here to help — not to nag you to leave the party early.

This handsome red rooster will perch himself atop your favorite wine, keeping it fresh until you’re ready to drink. And, your new wine stopper will never try to ruin your fun — unlike that other cock blocker of yours.

New at The Foodiggity Shop.

Burger King Whopper Wine Exists

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If you’re going to have a Whopper, there’s still an opportunity to be all fancy-like. Whopper Wine is here to pair with your enormous fast food burger.

No joke, the wine is actually made especially to drink with a Whopper — as it’s aged in barrels that are “flame-broiled,” just like the burger.

Currently available via Burger King Spain, they’re offering free cases to a few lucky contest winners.

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[via The Dieline and Food & Wine]

Arm Yourself With A Venus de Wino Wine Stopper

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Want a fancy and statuesque way to cover and protect your opened wine? The Venus de Wino Wine Stopper should be plugging your bottle.

The resin and cork wine stopper, despite her lack of arms, gets the job done. Your new Goddess of Love will look great at any party, and will make you look like you’re really into art… and drinking.

Resin and cork. Classic. Armless. New at The Foodiggity Shop.

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When Wine Labels Get Real

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Whether you appreciate a good wine, or use it simply as a coping tool, the bottle’s label still plays an important role.

But what if, instead of a fancy script font or an illustration of an Italian vineyard, your label told the brutal truth? VinePair had a little fun with this concept and brings us 26 Honest Wine Labels.

Although these wine labels will probably make you feel worse…. it’s a great excuse to drink even more. Thank you, wine label.

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