Valentine’s Day draws nigh. And, if you’re the type of person who has a hard time expressing yourself the other 364 days of the year, then February 14 provides the perfect opportunity to at least do it half-assedly.

One thing that cannot be denied, is that there’s no better way to appease your partner with minimal effort, than with a folded piece of card stock containing a message written by a stranger.

However, this year doesn’t have to involve an ordinary card or generic message. With help from Foodiggity and a few crafty Etsy users, make up for a year’s worth of emotional vacancy, and show your partner that you appreciate them in the greatest way possible — by comparing them to bacon. You’re welcome.

 

You Are Greater Than Bacon Card

This card by Etsy user cottonflowerpress gets right to the point. Tell your lover that they’re greater than the almighty meat candy — unless they view this as an emoticon, in which case they’ll just be confused.

 

I Love You More Than Bacon Card

Bacon love runs deep, and this card by bjoytomac establishes that the love for your human partner is even more so. Who’s the big winner this Valentine’s Day? Anyone who can present this card with a straight face.

 

Bacon and Eggs Card

The good old ‘we go together like…’ approach — it never fails. This card, by dancingant, plays matchmaker with the greatest of dynamic duos. Although, as we all know, bacon goes with everything. So you might have to try a bit harder.

 

You Know I Love Bacon Card

The suspense is killing me… What will the answer be? Well if you actually present this card by PaperPlatesPress, then the real answer is probably either ‘beer,’ or ‘more bacon.’ But because it’s Valentine’s Day, you get a free pass to lie.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody.