Because you need this… The Rollie Eggmaster is here to help make breakfast extra convenient and unnecessarily phallic. Using something called “Vertical Cooking Technology,” the Rollie makes eggs on a stick possible.
It will also make long slender horderves to help make your guests feel a little more uncomfortable. Find out more here.
…you’re all serious about thing huh? Kept looking for The Onion somewhere, but alas, nope.
Somebody better have a really good excuse to need this POS.