Balm Chicky Balm Balm, ’70s Adult Film-Inspired Lip Balm

balm-chicky-balm-balm

It was a simpler time of feathered hair and over-the-top sexual innuendo, and the bassline was unmistakable. Now, the soundtrack to the ’70s can be spread across your lips.

Balm Chicky Balm Balm is here to help keep your lips moistened while celebrating the certified-groovy days of adult films. And while the title sets the mood, Balm Chicky’s stars provide the action. Flavors/talent includes Juicy Melons, Sweet Baby Ginger, Huge Cucumber, Wild Mountain Honey, and Hot Chocolate Love.

Each tube contains three-times as much balm as your typical lip balm. And, much like the adult film stars of the time, Balm Chicky is 100%-natural. But the real scene-stealer is each tube’s patented Friend End™. Placed on the opposite end of the tube is a separate stash of balm with a flip-cap – just the right size for the finger of a friend in need.

Balm Chicky Balm Balm is available at The Foodiggity Shop.

juicy-melons
Juicy Melons
sweet-ginger
Sweet Baby Ginger
huge-cucumber
Huge Cucumber
hot-chocolate-love
Hot Chocolate Love
honey-balm-chicky
Wild Mountain Honey
MONEY-SHOT
The Friend End

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Girl Scout Cookie-Flavored Lip Balm Exists

Do you yearn for Thin Mints and Samoas all year round, even when the front of post offices and Wal-Marts are void of cookie-peddling Girl Scouts? Girl Scout Cookie Lip Balm is here to help. Moisturize, and satiate your need for Girl Scout Cookies in the offseason. Just don’t be surprised if you choose to coat your lips with Trefoils, and no one will kiss you — Trefoils suck.

The lip balms are available individually or in a set of five, $5 at Walmart and Claire’s.

[via Holy Kaw!]