Nick Offerman, like most, has a dream of growing his own pizza slices, thwarting whole pies and ridiculous delivery charges. Seen in this Funny or Die video, Farmer Nick’s philosophy of, “If it’s on a plant, it’s good for you,” is encouraging healthy eating with “acres of pizza, kissed by the sun.”

Offerman was even nice enough to harvest some taquitos, fish sticks and sloppy joes — for those who are sick of stupid fruit. I’m just glad that this is all very real, as the pizza seeds that I planted as a kid, have yet to show any progress. Thanks, Farmer Nick.

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