When Wine Labels Get Real

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Whether you appreciate a good wine, or use it simply as a coping tool, the bottle’s label still plays an important role.

But what if, instead of a fancy script font or an illustration of an Italian vineyard, your label told the brutal truth? VinePair had a little fun with this concept and brings us 26 Honest Wine Labels.

Although these wine labels will probably make you feel worse…. it’s a great excuse to drink even more. Thank you, wine label.

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Arm Yourself With A Venus de Wino Wine Stopper

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Want a fancy and statuesque way to cover and protect your opened wine? The Venus de Wino Wine Stopper should be plugging your bottle.

The resin and cork wine stopper, despite her lack of arms, gets the job done. Your new Goddess of Love will look great at any party, and will make you look like you’re really into art… and drinking.

Resin and cork. Classic. Armless. New at The Foodiggity Shop.

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8-Bit Nintendo Wine Labels Are For Old-School Drinking

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Grab your two-button controller, oversized cartridges, and enjoy these Nintendo NES Wine Labels. Brought to us by the folks at VinePair, the fictional wines are inspired by vintage Nintendo video games and labeled with old-school 8-bit awesomeness.

From Mario and Luigi Chianti Classico to Mike Tyson Punch Out!! Zinfandel, the wines will make you yearn for the days of blowing into cartridges, and for what once passed for video game graphics. At least you’re old enough to drink now.

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[link, via Food and Wine]

ARRRE You Ready To Open Some Bottles? The Legless Pirate Corkscrew Can Help

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Do you need to get a bottle opened, me hearties? Well, the Legless Pirate Corkscrew is here to help.

Complete with a corkscrew for a leg and a waiter’s friend and foil cutter for arms — this pirate is ready to open any wine bottle. He even comes with a bottle-opening eye patch for sodas and beers, and a parrot on his arm.

So… Why are pirates such good bottle openers? Because they ARRRR!!!

Stainless steel and durable ABS plastic. Available at The Foodiggity Shop.

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The Rechargeable Bottle Light Creates The Perfect Mood Lighting For More Bottle-Emptying

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Do you have tubs of empty wine bottles laying around? Or, perhaps you bought a few of those fancy decorative bottles at the craft store, that you have no idea what to do with.

The Rechargeable Bottle Light is here to help. The small little light packs a big punch in terms of mood lighting. Simply charge it via USB, and the bottle light will keep shining for up to 3 hours.

Whether that light is used to create ambience, or so you can see what you’re doing while you empty more bottles, is completely up to you. The Rechargeable Bottle Light is new at The Foodiggity Shop.

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