Dicks By Mail, For When You Need Someone To ‘Eat A Bag of Dicks’

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If you’ve ever urged someone to “eat a bag of dicks,” you now have the opportunity to make sure that they do so.

Dicks By Mail is the passive-aggressive parcel you’ve been waiting for. Now you can use the service to send a bag o’ gummy dicks, with not-so friendly instructions. Help sending your gummy dicks can be found here.

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[link, via Laughing Squid]

Cake Mail Is The Very Best Mail

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E-mail had a good run… But cake mail is now where it’s at. Never will friends or family immediately dispose of your snail mail, as long as it resembles a delicious slice of cake.

Making your own is easy, as demonstrated by Sandra Denneler over at SheKnows.com. Use a delicious-looking slice to send a postcard from vacation, just to say hi, or try to attach those divorce papers to it. They can’t ignore you forever.

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[link, via TAXI]

Chocolate Stamps That Smell and Taste Like Chocolate

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The U.S. Postal Service is broke — having just announced that they will suspend Saturday mail service to help cut costs. Perhaps this could’ve been avoided if U.S. postage stamps didn’t taste so terrible.

The States should take a cue from Belgium, who has created a series of stamps that smell and taste like Belgian chocolate. Printed on a chocolate scent-infused paper and using adhesive containing cocoa oil — the stamps should help make sending out all those invites or thank you notes a bit less gross.

The Belgian Postal Service will roll out 500,000 chocolate stamps starting March 25, 2013.

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[link, via TAXI]

Chocolate Flavored Envelopes

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Just in time for the death of snail mail and the United States Postal Service — there’s now Chocolate Flavored Envelopes. The set of ten 5″ x 7″ envelopes comes complete with matching notecards and chocolate-flavored adhesive. Perhaps you can use a chocolate envelope to send something to your Valentine — who probably won’t mind relicking them.

[link]